The eager young batsman had just scored yet another duck and was apologising to the captain.

‘I think I could do with some advice. What sort of coach would you recommend?’

‘A long distance one.’

The batsman had a large opinion of his prowess.

He was approached by a club member who couldn’t resist saying to him, ‘You know, whenever I watch you bat, I always wonder…’

‘I know, I know. How I do it.’

‘No. Why you do it.’

The standard of batting in the local side was very low. Even at the net practice, they couldn’t hit a thing. Finally, the captain rushed forward and grabbed the bat.

‘Now bowl me some fast ones!’ he yelled. Six fast balls came down in quick succession and the captain missed them all. Not to be put off he glared at the team and shouted,

‘Now that’s what you’re all doing. Get in there and hit them!’

In a country town match, the batsman was out first ball. ‘Not like last week,’ said the wicket-keeper.

‘No,’ said the batsman. ‘Last week I stayed in and got forty and when I got back all the beer was gone!’

The nervous young batsman was having a terrible time and was lucky to still be at the crease. During a lull, he stammered to the wicket keeper, ‘Well, I expect you’ve seen worse players.’

Silence….

First slip added ‘he said I expect you’ve seen worse players.’

‘I heard him the first time. I was just trying to think.’

The batsmen strolled up to the crease and carefully took guard. He looked round the field, noting the position of each player.

With great elegance, he patted dow several invisible bumps on the pitch and at last signalled that he was ready to accept the first delivery.

The ball came and uprooted the middle stump.

“What a shame,” said the wicket-keeper. “Just as you were getting set!”

The two rival cricketers were talking.

‘The local team wants me to play for them very badly.’

‘Well, you’re just the man for the job.’